Who am I? That's the question every human being asks at some point in their lives. Some of us ask it frequently, and very earnestly. We seldom know who we are for very long though, because we are continuously and eternally becoming. The bigger question as we live our lives every day, is Who do I want to be? For we are always growing and becoming, whether consciously or unaware.

What have any of us done, really, to deserve the lives we have? Our days and experiences seem to come and go like the weather. Some days the clouds overcast the sun, but what happens on the dark days is equally as important as what happens in the sun. The hard times of our lives, the wounds, the things we stumble over, the challenges, successful or not, all create who we are and who we will be. We are shaped by all our experiences – but we are not defined by our mistakes. Life can change, and we can change it.

In every challenge we have the choice of resistance or submission, holding on or letting go, and the most powerful choice of all, transcendence – that virtually undefinable word. Marianne Williamson once said this in a really beautiful way: “Rise above the battlefield.” It came to me at a time in my life when I was not strong enough to do battle with the forces surrounding me. But I was able to survive when I realized that I had the choice to refuse to play the futile games of pride and egos. I realized I did not want to be like them, if that’s what I had to do to ”win.”

There will be times when you will stand stronger than you even knew you could, to do battle honestly and courageously. But there are also times when the battle is unworthy of you. In the midst of it all, emotions will blast you like the winds of a hurricane, and it will be very hard to see things clearly. In those times only your heart can tell you, and among all the shouting voices that may be around you, your inner truth will always speak very quietly. Rise above the scene of the problem or the abuse, and look at it from there. Is it really worthy of your time and integrity? If not, you have the right to stand calm in the wind, face it, and let it pass.

We are born in helplessness, and it may take half a lifetime or more to learn that we are not helpless but in fact very powerful in shaping our own lives. Once we know that we are building our own lives not so much with our actions – those are secondary – but with our beliefs and expectations – those are primary – then we begin to live with a wiser view, and wider, higher options. When we begin to consciously choose who we want to be, then we begin to become it.

“Nothing shall be impossible to impossible to you, if you have faith.”